Chick wines rules

The sales numbers are in and it is official: 2012 was the year of chick wine.

Well, duh. Marketeers long ago discovered women dominate buying decisions, so in 2012 they rolled out wines fatuously pandering to women. Surprise, three female-focused wines led new brand sales last year.

Number one: Skinnygirl. Wow. Wine and weight loss: marketing genius. Sales approached $5 million, and the wine is in $11+ price range, medium-high for a mass-market brand. Enjoy irony? Skinnygirl is Beam Global product. They also make Jim Beam, Maker’s Mark, Canadian Club, Sauza Tequila. The Beam team beams as bubba belts their hard stuff while wifey sips their low-cal wine.

Number two: Be. Clearly a chick wine. Manly men don’t drink white wines named: Be. Flirty, Be. Radiant, Be. Fresh, and Be. Bright. Nor do men lust for wine that claims to be “the first, and only wines that cater to your ever-changing world with four stylish offerings to suit your moods.” The website (bewinery.com) suggests pairings with stiletto heels, books, and tambourines. No, not a guy buy. Nice price, however: $8-10.

Number three: Bella Bolle’ from Italy with a sweet red and a moscato d’Asti. Both are low alcohol (5.5%), slightly bubbly, and targeted directly at female drinkers. The brand name translates as “nice bubbles.” Another nice price play: $8-9.

Girls! Can we talk? Wine makers are focused on humans of the female persuasion! Yes! The girly wine whirl totally rocks!!! Well, maybe. Taste and decide for yourself.

Tastings:

• Bella Bolle’ Moscato d’Asti 2011. Stone fruits, tangerine, grapefruit, honey; refreshing, sweet; creamy bubbles, nice blue bottle. $9

• Be.Chardonnay (fresh), Be. Flirty (pink moscato), Be. Bright (pinot grigio), Be. Radiant (riesling). $10

• SkinnygirlCaliforniaRose (strawberry-lemonade), Skinnygirl California White (chard and pinot grigio), Skinnygirl California Red (mainly syrah blend); all contain 100 calories per five-ounce serving—about 25 less than average. Interesting diet plan. $11

Last round: My Zodiac sign says I am the kind of person who drinks wine and believes in Zodiac signs. One out of two, better than average for Zodiac predictions.